The conversation most couples skip, made easy. You each answer the same questions privately, then compare. Nothing is stored, nothing is sent anywhere, and it runs entirely on your device.
Agreeing boundaries beforehand is the single best predictor of a good night out — and “we’ll see how it goes” is how couples get hurt. This takes about five minutes.
How it works
- Partner one answers every question on this device.
- You hand the device over. Your answers are hidden.
- Partner two answers the same questions.
- You see where you agree, where you differ, and what’s off the table.
The rule: a “no” from either of you settles it. No negotiating, no persuading. A “maybe” from either means it needs a conversation, not an assumption.
Partner one
Pass the device over
Partner one’s answers are hidden. Partner two should answer without seeing them — that’s the whole point.
This tool needs JavaScript to run. You can still have the same conversation from the guide on boundaries and staying aligned, which lists the questions worth agreeing on.
Why do this at all
Because the alternative is discovering a mismatch at 1am in a crowded room, which is the worst possible moment and the most common way couples get hurt. Almost every experienced couple will tell you the same thing: the conversation beforehand is what makes the night work, and they wish they’d been more specific earlier on.
Answering separately matters too. It’s easy to agree with a partner who’s sitting next to you and visibly keen — answering privately gives you both room to be honest, including about things you’d rather not say out loud yet.
A few things worth knowing
A no doesn’t need a reason. Not from your partner, not from anyone at a venue. If something is off the table, it’s off the table, and asking why is its own kind of pressure.
A maybe is not a soft yes. It means unresolved. Treat it as a no until you’ve actually talked about it.
This is a snapshot, not a contract. What you’re comfortable with will change in both directions, and often faster than you expect. Redo this occasionally — most couples find their answers shift significantly after their first couple of outings.
Nothing here is stored. No answers leave your device, nothing is sent to us, and closing the page erases everything. Use the print button if you want a copy.
Next: jealousy and staying aligned, what actually happens on a first night, or Find Your Night to choose an event. Tools are general guidance, not a substitute for talking to each other.