Nobody on this page is trying to sell you anything. This site runs no affiliate links, and when we link out it’s straight to the venue or retailer — which makes this a rare thing on the internet: toy advice with nothing riding on your decision.
Why this guide exists
Search for toy recommendations and much of what you’ll find is affiliate content — reviews written so the site earns a commission when you click through and buy. That doesn’t make every recommendation dishonest, but it does mean the writer earns more when you spend more, and that pressure quietly shapes what gets praised. We’re in a different position. This site runs no affiliate links and takes no cut from anything you buy; when we link out, it’s straight to the venue or retailer, with nothing in it for us. So what follows is simply the advice we’d give a friend who asked — including the parts a commission-funded page has no incentive to tell you, like how little you actually need to buy.
What actually matters when you’re choosing
Body-safe materials, in plain terms
The single most useful thing to learn is the difference between non-porous and porous materials. Three have earned their reputation: medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass and stainless steel. All three are non-porous — their surfaces don’t hold on to bacteria in ways that cleaning can’t reach — which means they can be properly washed, shared sensibly with barriers, and kept for years. If a product page names one of these materials clearly and specifically, that’s a good sign about the product and the retailer both.
The porous problem
Cheap toys are commonly made from jelly rubber, PVC or TPE. These materials are porous: at a microscopic level the surface is full of gaps that soap and water can’t fully reach, so once bacteria settle in, no amount of scrubbing genuinely sanitises them. For a toy with one owner and one user, that’s a hygiene question worth taking seriously. For a toy that might ever be shared between partners — which in the lifestyle is a live possibility — it should rule the purchase out entirely. And if a product doesn’t say what it’s made of, treat the silence as an answer.
The lifestyle-specific part
Hygiene when more than two people are involved
Most toy advice online assumes one owner, one user. The lifestyle complicates that assumption, and the sensible response has three layers:
- Condoms on toys. A fresh condom for each person is the simplest way to make any sharing safer, and it works on any non-porous toy. Cheap, unglamorous, effective.
- One toy, one owner. This is the conservative rule, and the one we’d suggest as your default: your toys are used within your couple and nobody else’s are used on you. It removes the entire question rather than managing it.
- Clean between uses. Whatever rules you set, cleaning between uses — not just at the end of the night — is the standard to hold yourselves to.
These decisions belong in the same conversation as the rest of your boundaries, and it’s a conversation to have before the night rather than during it. Our boundaries tool exists for exactly this, and the broader thinking sits in our etiquette guide.
Discretion: storage and travel
A dedicated bag or lockable case earns its keep twice over. At home it keeps things private — not out of shame, but for the same reason you don’t leave bank statements on the kitchen bench. In transit it keeps clean items clean, keeps everything together, and means you’re not rummaging through a gym bag at the worst possible moment. Whatever you use, let items dry completely before they go in.
What venues expect
Many venues have rules about what you can bring in, and those rules vary from club to club. Before you pack anything, check the venue’s own site — it’s the only reliable source for what’s welcome and what isn’t. Our venue directory links straight to each venue’s site for exactly this reason, and if you’re new to clubs generally, start with Your First Night.
Budget: one good thing beats five cheap ones
You do not need to spend much to start, and you certainly don’t need a drawer full of gear. One well-made, body-safe item that you’ll actually use is worth more than five cheap porous ones — the multipack is a false economy, because porous toys can’t be properly sanitised and end up needing replacement anyway. Entry-level body-safe options genuinely exist; the trick is reading the materials line rather than the marketing. Start small, learn what you actually like, and let any collection grow from experience rather than optimism.
Choosing where to buy
Whether you shop online or in person, we’re not going to name names — this site is independent, runs no affiliate links, and naming a retailer would imply an endorsement we’re in no position to give. Instead, judge any retailer by two things: do they state materials clearly on every product page, and do they ship in plain packaging. Good retailers are upfront about both. If you have to hunt for either answer, shop elsewhere. And if you’d rather see sizes and materials in person before deciding, the materials test applies just the same over the counter.
Care and cleaning basics
- Silicone: warm water and mild soap, washed thoroughly after each use, covers most situations.
- Toy cleaner: genuinely useful when a proper sink isn’t handy — between uses on a night out, or when travelling — rather than a replacement for real washing at home.
- Drying: dry everything completely before it’s stored. Damp storage undoes careful cleaning.
- Storage: clean, dry, dust-free and private — a cloth bag inside your case or drawer does the job.
Toys are part of your sexual health practice
Everything above is really one strand of a bigger habit: the barrier logic you’d apply between people applies between people and toys as well. Fresh condoms on shared items, cleaning between uses and honest conversations about what’s shared all sit alongside testing routines and the agreements you make as a couple. Our sexual health guide covers that wider practice — the couples who handle this well treat it as routine admin, not a mood-killer, and it shows in how relaxed their nights are.
Where we stand
This site runs no affiliate links and takes no commission from anyone; every outbound link goes straight to the venue or retailer, and no retailer is named on this page anyway. This guide exists because the question keeps coming up and honest answers are hard to find among the sales copy. That independence is the whole point of this site, and it’s yours to hold us to.